I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
