they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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