New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
