make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
