you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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