i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
