Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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