and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
