dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
