I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
