So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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