K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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