YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
