I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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