Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
