Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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