I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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