Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
