if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
