Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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