I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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