it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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