Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
