hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
