o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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