WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
