I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
