Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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