Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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