I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
