she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize