i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
