Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
