I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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