Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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