So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize