We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
