I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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