Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
