I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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