they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
