he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
