Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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