belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
