We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think people are normalizing furries
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
