problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
