he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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