last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
