Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
