So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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